What I Learned in the First Year of Marriage
Hey guys! Happy Friday!
I know that Fridays are normally dedicated to the Plate for One series. It hasn’t disappeared! I’m simply taking a hiatus this week because I wanted to dedicate today’s post to our one year anniversary. Tomorrow (September 19th) marks one year of being married! I thought it’d be fun to do a little reflecting on the first year and share what I’ve learned along the way. My husband has done the same and you can find his post over at The Coastie Couple.
If you’re new to the blog, keep in mind that my husband is in the military and has spent about half of our first year deployed. I’m not looking for sympathy on this – it’s just important that you know this as you read through the things I’ve learned.
1. Communication is key.
I already knew this going into marriage but marriage has reminded me of how important communication can be. We spend a lot of time apart due to deployments. Without communication, we have nothing. We try to openly discuss everything that needs discussing – future plans, finances, and so much more.
2. Holidays lose their meaning when you spend so many apart.
I’m having a really hard time with holidays. They seem to be losing their spark since we spend so much time apart. I have a few ideas to help with that, but in the mean time, I’m going to keep reminding myself that they are temporary.
3. Saying goodbye for deployments is harder when you’re in the same location.
This was our second year of deployments. It was our first year of deployments as a married couple living in the same location. Saying goodbye is so much harder when you drop him off and help him load his bags onto the ship. When we were doing long distance, it was a simple “I’ll be turning my phone off tomorrow and we’ll be email only after that.” The transition was a lot easier then.
4. My husband is always up for my crazy ideas.
I don’t think my husband has said no once when I’ve suggested we go somewhere. In fact, I think he enjoys all the random ideas I come up with. I have this weird knack for finding cool things to do in the area. It has led to some awesome adventures this past year!
5. You don’t have to be together to be happy.
Deployments are hard. There is no way to sugar coat that. However, I have also learned that with the right attitude and communication, they can be a little easier. I think it says a lot that my husband can cheer me up through an email conversation. Marriage is about much more than physically being there – it’s also about supporting each other emotionally.
6. Keeping a house neat with two people is much harder than keeping it neat when it’s just me.
Picking up after myself is bad enough but picking up after someone else is even more annoying. Hubby does a good job of helping out but there’s nothing worse than thinking you’ve got all of the laundry done and discovering a pile hiding on his side of the bed by the window. It’s made even worse when you can’t figure out if they are clean or dirty.
7. You are never done learning about another person.
I am still learning new things daily about Hubby. I don’t think you can ever truly know everything there is to know about a person.
8. It is possible to fall more in love over time.
I used to think that you fell in love, got married, and that was it. I didn’t realize back then that love is a thing that grows and changes with the times. I am constantly being surprised and finding new ways to love my husband. The latest example can be found at the end of his reflection blog post. (I’m not going to share what it was – you’re going to have to hop over to see. Remember – all I did was ask him to write the post. It’s all straight from him.)
9. Marriage is all about sharing.
You share your stuff. You share your thoughts. You share your opinions. I don’t think there’s ever a moment when you aren’t sharing. It’s no longer “you” and “I” – it’s suddenly “we” and “our.” It’s a great thing but it’s also interesting to navigate in the beginning. (Decorating a new place together was very interesting!)
10. Despite all the sharing, you still need alone time.
I think it’s important to remember that you are still an individual person and need your own time. We do a lot together when he’s home but we also spend the other half of our time apart from each other. I think it’s important to remember who you are as an individual even when you’re part of a couple.