I'm constantly being told how strong I am and how I handle tough situations so well. I simply do what I have to do in order to keep moving forward in life. If this is considered strong, then I guess I'm strong. This doesn't mean I have my life all together or that I'm perfect. It simply means I've managed to create a system that works for me when it comes to the tough stuff. I thought I'd take a few minutes today to reflect on how I handle things in case it can help someone else out.
These aren't step by step tips and they certainly aren't in any specific order. Each tough moment requires a different process to work through it. These are just some of the similarities I've noted when reflecting on the tough situations I've been through and how I pulled through.
Figure out what others need from you.
Is someone else depending on you in the situation? Is there some way that you can help someone else move forward? Sometimes caring for others is the thing that keeps us going and reminds us why we're here. I find it easier to find strength when I know someone else needs it from me. If I'm the only one needing me to be strong, it's much harder to find the strength.
I'm a big advocate of prioritizing your commitments on a day to day basis but it's even more important when you're going through a rough patch. Figure out what has to be done and what can be put on the back burner. Focus on the things that have to be done and allow the others to fall to the side. You can always pick up the pieces later. For me, my blog is one of the things that often falls to the wayside when things are tough. I always pick it back up when I'm stable again. It's okay to prioritize and tell others that you need more time on things with deadlines. Life throws us curveballs and most people understand that.
Ask for help & lean on others.
This is not the time to be prideful. It's also not the time to retreat into yourself. Open up to at least one person in your support system. Sometimes simply talking about a problem can make it seem less monumental. Don't be afraid to ask others for help in any form. Help comes in many forms from physical to help to emotional help. Your support system will be ready to help you in your time of need. (And if they're not, then maybe it's a sign to rethink your connection.)
Allow yourself to feel all the emotions.
You're going to have tons of emotions running through you - maybe even emotions that you don't understand. Anger, sadness, disappointment, hope, remorse, the list goes on and on. Allow yourself to feel these emotions. Don't bury them deep inside - that builds frustration and makes it harder to move forward. Now, I do have one caveat with this one - push your emotions aside when you need to be focused and rational. Then, come back to them at your earliest convenience and all them to wash over you.
This one is probably one of the hardest parts of making it through something but it's also one of the most important parts. Schedule yourself busy to keep your mind and focus occupied - especially if things aren't resolved and there's nothing left that you can do. When you're scheduling things, make sure you're getting together with that support system I mentioned above. They can help you work through all of the thoughts going on in your mind. Also schedule in some things that will help your mind, body, and spirit. Maybe a workout class or walk through a park?
Remember - this isn't a blueprint to follow and the tips certainly aren't in any sort of order. These are the things that help me make it through the tough things. I'd love to hear what helps you through your tough times in the comments below!