Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Moving and Emotions

I'm excited to bring you a guest post today all about moving and emotions. Having gone through a rollercoaster of emotions myself lately, I felt this was a fitting post!



As humans we are the ultimate social beings, so when the thought of picking up all and moving comes into perspective, it can be quite traumatic. Just so many emotions! The whole gamut as well from exhilarating happiness to deep feelings of despair.
 
My first memories of moving are childhood ones. As children, we moved house a lot. But even at home, in one house, we moved a lot. My mom was a move freak. We would come home from school one day knoWing exactly where our stuff was, only to find that they had been moved around by mom. Sometimes you'd come home and your room would have a brand new makeover! I sometimes wondered where my mom got the strength, energy and motivation to do all that work!  Or whether the 60 minute makeover team had dropped by.
 
And all those moves came with emotions attached to them. Some happy, and some the opposite end of the scale.
 
I will tell you about some of the moves we've had and the emotions they evoked as a result.
 
By the way, I love travelling. It's the packing up and getting there that I enjoy less. In fact, I'd travel a lot more often if I could just wish it and find myself landed in the next port of call or wherever I want to go to next.
 
As an adult, I've moved around a bit too. First there was the big leave home move to go to college about fifty miles or so from home at 18 years old. That was scary! I had never been away from home for more than a night or so. In fact, we weren't even allowed on school trips as my dad always thought of the worst scenarios that could happen and use that as reason to say we shouldn't go. So when we got notices in the form of letters to take home about school trips, we knew better than to take it home as we knew the answer already: too many reckless drivers on the road, and anyway, the trip is coming back too late, and ...
 
So when I moved to college it was a mixture of fear and anxiety but also tempered with a fair dose of excitement because I was stepping over into this side of life-adulthood. This move saw me make new friends, gain some independence, learn how to budget, cook for up to 12 people some times as we operated a rota system for preparing our evening meals, and it also helped me to strengthen my faith. 
 
My college years were some of the best and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Talk about trailing out how to be an adult. And before you start thinking too deeply into this, let me say that I was quite sane and sensible with my new found freedom.
 
My next move involved leaving home to set up my own. That was exciting and I could draw on so much that I learnt at college. From maintaining a home to budgeting, washing, stain removal and everything in between. I particularly enjoyed this because I could put my own stamp on things. I could do it just the way I wanted, and however often I wanted. I didn't have to prepare meals for up to 12! The discipline I learnt at college really helped me to mature and to take really good care of my own house and family.
 
Soon after getting my first job and starting my own family, I got an amazing opportunity thrown at me. A small island called Grand Turk in the Turks and Caicos islands wanted me to come and teach there. Again, I was nervous and truly unprepared for this challenge. I had been overseas to Florida on vacation before but it was different. At least vacation time overseas  only lasted about three to four weeks at the most. Going away to live in a totally different country was something else! I knew one person and that was it, I was surrounded by strangers. In a way, it was good and in fact I have some good memories of being there. For one, I made new friends, I gained more confidence in teaching, I enjoyed going to church, and the beauty of the place was absolutely breathtaking! Living in an almost crime free country was something I also treasured. I always felt safe at any time, whether day or night. My second son was also born there and I will always have a smile on my face when I think of that little island, it's friendly people, and the wonderful memories I had there.
 
That move also left me with some negative emotions too. Some of them are still too raw to talk about here. Just enough to say that things weren't always okay. I cried a lot. But I also laughed a lot from late night comedy on television. I suffered much pain, not just emotionally but physically as well. That's where I suffer end with back pains almost every night for about a year! It was only after the move back to Jamaica when I found out that the nocturnal pains were actually caused by gall stones!
 
The move back to Jamaica also left me somewhat happier too. I had a certain amount of financial independence and could afford to buy a second hand car cash and also pay off for my house in cash! So finally I was able to work and not have to worry about that mortgage or rent. I could focus on building a positive home for my family and setting up some financial stability. Work was tough though. It was different and came with its own challenges. In some respects I was glad for some of the changes that I had to endure, such as learning to drive long distances, preparing for and teaching different subjects, and dealing with people from the full spectrum of Jamaican life.
 
My final big move came almost 12 years ago. I was packing up my prized possessions including my family to migrate to England for good! How do you choose what to take with you when you are never going to return permanently? Here came the emotions again! 
 
The hardest part of this move was to actually tell my dad who had by then become blind and so came to live with us, that I was migrating! I couldn't, so I didn't! You see, my dad was one of those people who always extra cautious about everything. If he heard about a plane crash, then he would vow never to ever get on a plane again! And he cried a lot too, in his final years. For that reason, I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I was migrating yet again. 
 
I've always felt some sadness about this move. For although I made good plans and left dad in my home with a trusted relative to take care of him, he always spoke about how sad he was that we had left and when were we coming back etc. When he died a year later, I felt such guilt at the thought of not being there and able to comfort him in his last days. 
 
These emotions related to moving have always been almost sacred to me. They're a part of me that I can never get rid of. So the next time I pack my bags with my worldly possessions to move from one place to the next, I'll brace myself and look forward to the raw emotions that will challenge me to be that much more mature and confident in my own skin. I'll accept whatever life throws at me, pull my brother g girl panties up, and just deal with it.


About the Author

Jo and Leisa are teachers and twin bloggers who blog at Joleisa.com. They extol the virtues of a happy life, despite what life throws at us all daily. They live in Birmingham, England, having lived in different countries but they are originally from the home of reggae music, Bob Marley, jerk chicken, and the fastest man and woman on the planet! Between them, they have three teens. The girls live separately but see or speak to each other daily. They'd love you to check them out and follow on Facebook and also on Pinterest.



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