It’s been a while since we truly connected and I feel it’s time we get back to communicating.
This letter was originally going to be an apology. I was going to apologize for the trauma you endured with my first birth which ended with a third degree tear. Then I was going to apologize for the trauma you endured when I fell pregnant again and was lifting a small toddler the whole time.
I was going to apologize for not resting more after my second was born – for lifting and playing with my first, which I’m sure put more strain on you.
Most of all, I was going to apologize for the doctor’s appointment that left me close to tears. (Let’s be honest – I would’ve been in tears if I hadn’t done my own research and diagnosing ahead of time.) I was going to apologize for the pain you’re likely to suffer for years to come due to the prolapse that has happened.
I was going to apologize and then I realized it wouldn’t be heartfelt. You see, I’m a mom now. I have two small boys and their needs often come first – whether that means carrying a sick toddler or sleepless nights with a baby. There are far too many times when their needs come first (especially when they’re extreme). I don’t foresee this changing anytime soon.
Unfortunately, motherhood has led me to place myself and my well-being on a back burner. And you, dear Vagina, have suffered because of that. You’ll never be the same and that’s okay.
Unfortunately, we now have this prolapse issue to live with for basically forever. So, dear Vagina, I’m going to give you a little extra self care and focus. This is just another obstacle on the journey of life and it can be overcome just like anything else.
Dear Vagina, I won’t apologize for the trauma I’ve put you through on my journey to motherhood, but I will apologize for the lack of self care. And that’s something we can definitely work on improving this year.
One Busy Mama